seedy sperm

In writing this week's column (Ahoy, Matey!: A Captain's Guide to His Semen) I learned quite a bit more about semen than I thought I ever would. And while I'm almost positive that the reader's question about increasing his amount of semen was a vanity thing, and not a baby-making thing, I did end up breaking a bit of fertile ground.

The Mayo Clinic tells me that good, fertile, sperm is based on three things:
1. quantity (of sperm, not the whole semen package)
2. quality (as in 4% must have quality shape and structure. The Mayo Clinic paints a picture of oval heads and long tails perfect for forward-propellance)
3. and motility (40% of those babies gotta move!)

While the quantity is a whole different issue, briefly touched on in the column, the quality and motility may be improved simply by changing your personal lubricant, as leading lubricants (even saliva and water) have been shown to damage sperm and prevent them from swimming normally. Not helpful for baby-making.

This is where Pre-Seed comes in, a lube who's name alone will show you that its kind of sex isn't slippery, steaming and pleasurable, but more down-to-business and fertilizing. Their clinical studies have shown that you shouldn't use "regular" lube when trying to conceive, as it messes with your vaginal pH balance, has the wrong ion/salt concentration and sometimes contains glycerin, all of which are toxic to your little swimmers.

Pre-Seed, on the other hand, is specifically designed to mimic your natural cervical fluid's temperature, consistency and pH levels during ovulation which, is known to be ideal for our fertile friends, creating, as the Pre-Seeders say, "an optimal sperm environment".

While Pre-Seed has gotten a lot of seemingly reputable press, boasts that it's "less irritating" than mainstream lube and is proud to be the "only lubricant formulated by a woman Sperm Physiologist" named Dr. E, I, for one, might trust the stork more than I trust a doctor with a presumably made up title and a cutely abbrevd. name.

More importantly, upon viewing some results of their clinical studies, it looks as though Pre-Seed was only tested against a few lubes I've never even heard of and the extremely mainstream K.Y. and Astroglide, notorious for their high glycerin content, vaginal irritation and who knows what else. These results don't include and therefore say nothing about the awesome choices available in non-mainstream lubes like the glycerin-free Organic Sliquid varieties and before restricting your selection to Dr. E's Pre-Seed or K.Y., you should educate yourself (start with previous V-spot column Life Beyond K.Y.) and talk to your actual doctor who, hopefully, has a full last name.